October 1st....a changed perspective

So, wow! Here it is a cold, rainy morning on October 1st. A day that a month ago I would have said with 100% certainty would be spent cuddling with Frehiwet, playing, feeding, taking pictures to share here....nope. Not today. She is still in Ethiopia and we are still here, waiting.
This past week was particularly difficult. I learned so much about myself. Some things not so pretty. We got news from the embassy that our paperwork was still not correct, denied for the third time....and I jumped to conclusions. A previous judgement of someone combined with my fear, anger and frustration led to desperate accusations. I was wrong. I doubted my agency. I shouldn't have. I lost faith. I knew better.
After a week of emotional extremes and a conference call with 24 of my adoption BFFs and our fearless CHI team...I feel better, we feel better. (sorta) What it boils down to is this: I grew weak in my faith and instead of trusting my agency, I didn't. The adoption process in ET is very muddy right now. Changes are occurring across the board and we are stuck right here in the middle of it all. Instead of ET putting a moratorium on adoption while these changes are being instituted, they have allowed them to continue to be processed. But, because the system is indeed changing, our process has been slowed considerably. New document requirements, very poor communication from government agencies and the culture and conditions that are Ethiopia are all the reasons why we are sitting here, waiting.
So, while I can do nothing to change any of those things, I CAN change my perspective. Up until now, my recent days have consisted of waking at all hours of the night to check my email for any word on our case our of ET. That pattern continues throughout the day, refreshing my gmail every 20 minutes. Chatting with CHI friends on FB about what they have heard, stalking blogs, you get the picture. Being totally ruled by my need for any positive sign, any bit of evidence that we still have a chance to get cleared! Those things are happening. People are getting cleared. They are bringing their precious babies home. We are getting closer. But, I am growing weak. SO........
I have challenged myself to go "tech-free" next week...meaning: I am taking FaceBook and Gmail off of my phone so I can no longer obsess about the latest bit of information. I am vowing to "unplug from fear" and "plug into faith"....God knows the past, present and future. DUH! He knows when this is all going to happen. When the perfect time for us to reunite with our baby is....HE KNOWS, so why do I need to worry? I plan to re-engage in my life. Knock off items from my to do list. Dust my stinkin wood blinds!! Finish painting the basement! Clean out closets! Clean my refrigerator (gag)!! Read a romance novel! Basically, distract myself. Sure, I will check my email. But I have vowed to check it in the morning and at the end of the day. I have to stick to this. I am going nuts by my own behavior.
If I learned anything from our CHI conference call yesterday it was this: We will have Marra Frehiwet home the same time if I stress and obsess or if I chill and wait patiently. Freaking out is not going to bring her home sooner.
Our lives are about to be rocked! A BABY will be here soon and I need to have myself in order...so I can be the best new momma, best old momma, best wife and renewed in my faith once she is here.

For the First Time

Well, as you may or may not know, we got our long awaited MOWA letter on 8/12 and then received our decree a week or so later....Frehiwet's birth certificate was created, then her passport, and finally, she had a medical exam at the American Embassy in Addis....all of that in order to be submitted to the American Embassy for approval of a visa and then we get to go bring her home!
Sounds great, right? Well, except for this : the American Embassy is now feeling pressure to scrutinize every single adoption case that comes their way. Well, of course! We absolutely want Frehiwet to truly have been an orphan and for there to  have been no lies told throughout this process. However, the USE is a day late and $20K short....in essence, the USE is now investigating an adoption case that has already been closed by the Ethiopian government. Has the full seal of approval and CAN NEVER BE REVERSED. When we were in Ethiopia for court, the judge asked us 5 questions. One of which was, "Do you understand that this adoption is final and can never be reversed?" So, The USE wants to ensure that the children they are allowing to enter the USA as citizens of this great nation were not trafficked and were true orphans before referral. That is great, except that if they were for some reason todeny Frehiwet a Visa, she would then remain in Ethiopia, never to have any family at all. In an orphanage, forever. The only way we could parent her would be to move to Ethiopia. Basically.
So, yesterday our case passed the pre-screening and was submitted to the US Embassy and now we wait. We wait to find out what other supporting documentation they would like to see in our case. ie another police letter, an interview, whatever they request. We and our agency will be notified via email as to what they are requesting. Then, CHI (Children's Hope) will work tirelessly to find and create whatever is asked of them. And then we wait some more. Each time we wait, we have been told, could be days or weeks, even.
            This is when I fall to bits and pieces. The wait was grueling before. When we were waiting for a referral, when we waited for court date and then waiting for our MOWA letter, but THIS, this wait is beyond grueling. It is a feeling I have never felt before. A feeling of absolute helplessness. One that has left an empty ache in my chest that just won't go away.
            I will admit to you right now that I am incapable of "faking it". I wear my heart on my sleeve and am the straightest of straight-shooters. What you see is what you get. And boy, is that not pretty right now.
           I am walking around in a daze as my busy world continues around me. Am I day-dreaming of this perfect little angel waiting for me? Sometimes. But really, what I am doing is nothing. I am numb. Stress that can be mobilized is healthy. Futile stress, the kind of stress that you can do nothing to alleviate at the source, is lethal. Seriously.  So what am I doing to survive so I don't get booted off the island?
       I am praying. Praying for God to grant me peace in this time of uncertainty. Praying that our case is miraculously in perfect order and nothing more is needed. Giving thanks to God for each of my children here. They are blessings to me and are keeping me from going completely off the deep end! I am trusting that the God who created me, knows every hair on my head and every pang in my heart, will guide me through this wait. We are all God's children. All his very own creation and he knows the exact plan for each of us. And I trust that plan. I have peace within that plan.
2Corinthians 12:19 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness". Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
I am taking every day moment by moment. Basking in God's love. Knowing that He knows what is best for me. Enjoying the company of my savior, Jesus Christ. May the glory and honor be His.

          

A wonderful story of hope and survival......Hugh Jackman, Ethiopia and Hope....what more could you want? :-)

http://vimeo.com/15190829 This link will show you the full video.....
Amazing people doing amazing things:)

Introducing Marra Frehiwet!!

So, on July 5th, we learned of our court date in Ethiopia....we were to be there on 7/22.....Lots to do. Tons got done!!
In short, our trip was grueling and the flights agonizing...ok, ok, i don't travel well...I get it :) Ben was able to go with us which was a blessing beyond words! We took off out of Washington Dulles -> Frankfurt -> Addis Ababa , Ethiopia.....30 hours door to door!
We had several goals on this trip 1)Meet and start bonding with Marra 2) Deliver the near 1/2 ton of school supplies collected for the Bright Hope School 3)Paint and decorate the House of Hope where Marra was now staying until we made our final trip to bring her home 4)Learn and soak up as much of the Ethiopian culture and its people as possible....We did it all, and then some!!
Instead of writing it all out now, I will share these two videos with you.....the First is of our trip (minus the Marra chapter, since we didn't know when we would pass court and be 'allowed' to share her pics, we decided to make two separate vids)  The second one is all about THE GIRLIE!!!
We found out this morning that WE ARE NOW MARRA FREHIWET'S LEGAL PARENTS!!!!! Just a few days ago we were told that would most likely not happen until October, prolonging our wait by two months....but, through hours of prayer and lots of tears....God moved that mountain.....I knew He would!
Enjoy the footage of a journey beyond your wildest imaginations!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OhtmqZZQ-8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kX113zBlZLY

School Supplies!!

Officially started the school supply drive today!! Put a message on FaceBook in hopes that friends and family will donate extra school supplies to the Bright Hope School (see link) that is funded by Children's Hope International. I would love to show up to Ethiopia next week with a suitcase FULL of supplies for these eager kiddos!
http://www.blog.helpanorphan.org/search/label/Ethiopia

T Minus 12 Days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We FINALLY got a court date!!!!!!! We squeaked in with just a few days to spare!!! July 28th we will stand before a judge in Ethiopia and testify that YES INDEED we wish to adopt ((BABY)) !!!!
Sten and I have always worked well under pressure, God knows that, but sheesh do we have a crazy few weeks ahead of us!!
Just a few things to do before we leave:
Prepare our paperwork (notary, copies, certified mail, you know, nothing major for me!)
Gather Donations (doing a school supply drive for the Bright Hope School)
Pack for our trip
Pack the kids' bags for their stay in PA
Prepare for BEN"S 16th BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!!! (Costco, Costco, Costco.....and Best Buy!!)
Work 24 hours this week
Gather borrowed luggage
Get my hair done. (Roots are looking pretty trashy right now!!)
Go to GYN appt. to get this pesky ovarian cyst checked out. I don't want it to swallow up my last ovary while in ET since the other one met the same fate! (But had the conveniences of a hospital to remove it!!)
Sten has to be in Kazakhstan the DAY AFTER court, so he is working like mad not only to prepare his work for the trip but to actually schedule the flights.....Apparently, not too many folks travel from Addis Ababa, Ethiopia to Almaty, Kazakhstan....go figure!!
And, on top of it all, I have THE WORST chest/head cold I have ever had. Of course.
But, we are still on cloud nine with the unbelievable news that we are going to court before the closure!! And, I have heard that even if our necessary MOWA letter (the one that "blesses" this whole adoption) isn't at court that day, it still can be processed by the clerk of the court during closure b/c the judge approved the case pending the letter. What I've heard, we will learn more once we are there!!
Another great thing that God has lined up for us is that my dear friend through all of this, Sarah, who is traveling with her husband Josh to appear in court the same day as us (what a coincidence!!) will actually be on the SAME FLIGHT as us!! WooHoo!!! Oh, I forgot to mention that Ben is going with us!!! Kinda a big deal!! We really felt it important for Ben to see his sister's beginnings and to start the bonding process now, since there is such a huge age difference and he will only be here for another 2 years, then off to college.
I apologize for all of my ramblings, it's all the snot in my head prohibiting me from thinking clearly. :-)

Holy Waiting!!

So, I was told by many, "You think waiting for a referral is tough? Try waiting for a court date once you have a referral of a child in Ethiopia waiting for you." Well, let me just say THIS SUCKS!!! I have tried being so patient and prayful, but Holy Cow, this REALLY STINKS! So, to pass the time, I am redo-ing our basement! It's about time we make a Kid Cave, right? It is turning out super cool! I have had tons of help from Ben, the speed-painter! I will post pics when it is all done! It will be a great place for the older kids to go hang out once baby gets here and we are in need of some s p a c e :-)

Tomorrow morning we leave dark and early for vacation at Hilton Head, SC!!!! I was bumming big time thinking that because of financial garbage, we wouldn't be able to take the kids anywhere and then our wonderful neighbors (my BFFs parents) offered their vacation home to us this week! So Jess and I and all of our kids are taking off for 5 days at the beach!! I just wish Sten was able to come. His schedule at work didn't permit him to take off :-(


I am seriously PRAYING ALL THE TIME that we get a court date this week! I will have my cell phone glued to me this whole trip!! Please, join me in my prayer! I will keep you all posted!!

~Amy 

Gymbo...and then some :-)

Jess and I went to Gymboree today because they were having their semi-annual RED BALLOON SALE!! Let's just say there isn't much stock in 3-6, 6-12, 12-8 months left. WOW, it was intense to get such fantastic deals. I'm exhausted from the excitement!! (Yes, i am being serious about all of this! Those of you who know me know that I LOVE Gymboree and love to dress my girls in it!! I sell it all on eBay when I'm done with it and most often MAKE money on them!!!)

Well, I just spent the last 35 minutes winding and unwinding (with a pencil) a Wee-Sing tape that Jenna loves to listen to on her headphones at night, trying to find the twist in the tape. Well, after three COMPLETE cycles, there was no resolution to the twist. UGH!! Why do we do these things? Well, because to hear your precious daughter singing word-for-word the songs you grew up to and the look on her darling face when she gets in bed, all tucked in, ready to say prayers and enjoy her music! That's why!

Ok. time to locate Sten. Last I heard (2 hours ago) he was going to be home in a few minutes! HA!

Sharing is caring.

So in my absolute obsessive searching of the internet for ET adoption blogs and info that I may not have known that could possibly bring me to a greater understanding (BAhahhahahaha)...I came across a GREAT blog and this entry that I think every warm-blooded individual should read: What Not to Ask...

http://www.godwilladd.com/2010/11/top-10-things-not-to-ask.html

Monday! What a zoo!!

      Today I was privileged to accompany the entire kindergarten on a trip to the Baltimore Zoo!! I was nervous that my patience would wear thin (I actually really do not like going to places with tons of people, walking around on blacktop in the heat) BUT, I surprisingly enjoyed every minute of it! I think Jenna's adorable-ness attributed to my good mood! We saw so many beautiful animals! It never fails, though. Every time I leave a zoo I feel terrible for the animals being in captivity. I know, get over it. Still..... a CHEETAH in a 30x30 area, really?
      Now I have a tired (but still pleasant) six year old who needs a bath and a story and will be out like a light!
She is famous for her "jenna-isms" so here is one: As we were coming home from errands this evening, Jenna says "I know this may sound picky, but when I grow up, my husband is gonna HAVE TO know how to fish". hahaha.
      Abe got a cellphone today....ONLY because it was out of sheer bribery to play football (he secretly wanted to play, just like last year, but his slightly lazy side was pitching a good argument why he should object!) AND because it is only $9.99/month on our plan, unlimited texting, unlimited calling to all cellphones in the US. Pretty sweet deal!!
     Tomorrow I am back to the bank to get photographing permission letters notarized for the families traveling to ET in the next few weeks! Hopefully Baby will be moved to the transition house (the HOH) by then so they can take pics and video of her!!!!
      Off to bed-down the chilluns!!

A yardsale-ing we will go!!

So, our Saturday morning Sailing was a bust. Well, for me, not the kids. They scored!! Jenna got a Louis Vuitton purse for $4!!! And Eli got the Hogwart's Castle Lego set for $25 (it's over $100 retail!) But I am still amazed at how much some people want to charge for their junk! Oh, we did get 20 Disney books on tape for $5!!! That was a success. Now we just need to get Jenna another tape headset! CVS has them, I've been down that road before!
The weather is great today! I am going to sand and repaint the white rocking chairs, paint some in the house (touch-up) and get rid of junkage in the basement! We are going to remodel the basement, so all must be cleaned out!!
Later today, Maggie, Jess, Katee and I are going to the outlets, then to dinner!! Woot Woot!! I am excited for some girlie time, full of wedding and baby talk!! YAY!!
Peace!

Serenity? Yes, please. And make that a double!!!

      Ok, Ok! I know it has been FOREVER since my last post! I will update now, on this rare Friday night when I am off work and without any obligations. One kid is in bed dreaming sweet princess dreams, one is watching a new series with his dad on Netflix, two (one real kid, one borrowed kid) are blowing things up on the Xbox and one is frantically cleaning the ENTIRE house (to his mother's standards) in order to earn back his phone....all while I sit here, feeling incredibly blessed (and guilty over the Chai Tea milkshake I had tonight). Things are good, really good here. Wanna know why? Sure, I'll tell ya!
      First, we are the proud parents-to-be (so tacky, I know) of a beautiful, gorgeous, stunning 6 month old baby girl in Ethiopia!! Referral day was May 16, 2011! What a crazy, emotional day THAT was!! I have been addicted to her three little pictures. Staring, wondering what she looks like now, what her personality is, what she is doing at different times of the day :-) I just can't get enough! We have been debating how to spell her name, and what middle name(s) to give her. I'm sure by the time she walks across the stage at her high school graduation, Sten and I will have come to an agreement! 

     Second, Sten has had enough overtime and travel with his work to cover the BFC (Big Fat Check) that accompanied our referral acceptance that we did not have to plan the 5K race fundraiser. I am SO not the type to fundraise, not sure why...it's not like it's begging. If people don't believe in the cause, then no biggie. But still, I feel funny. I guess that stems from the earner trait that was embedded in me from my childhood days, having the biggest paper route in town! Well, we earned the money for the check AND Sten has traveled enough that we now have miles to cover all legs of our 2 trips to and from Ethiopia! BLESSED? I think so!!
    Third, and most magnificent, my spiritual journey is ON FIRE! Over the past year, I have grown so close to God, that sometimes, I just talk out loud to him. Right here. In my little world, I am renewed. I have had prayer after prayer answered throughout this adoption and my whole "I think I'll get sick and try to croak episode". It is quite incredible!
     Fourth, my best friend in the whole wide world (Jess) is having a baby girl in October and I am thrilled that we can be on this journey of "pregnancy" together! She has been such a rock for me during all of this, that I am certain I would be in a psych ward somewhere right now if not for her talking me down off of every I-can't-do-this-any-longer-cliff!! I lub you, Jess!!
  And lastly, I did a last minute vitamin drive this morning and had pretty great results. My friend from FMH, Renee, is traveling to Ethiopia tomorrow and has permission to travel to the House of Hope transition house where baby will soon be moved until we bring her home! Renee is going to deliver:
 16 large bottles of Infant drop Vitamins
 Oodles of Desiting
 Oodles of Hydrocortisone
 Oodles of Neosporin
 4 huge bottles of Gummi Vites for the big kids
 and some small toys for the bigger kids, too!!!


Yay for generous hearts!!


    So, there! A short list of the million reasons why things are GRRRREAT right now!!

That was the "Good", now this is the "Bad and the Ugly" :
     I am obsessing over dates, numbers and data. I am praying day and night that we get a court date before the courts close in August. (So, every year from mid August to beginning of October, the court system in ET closes due to the rainy season. The roads become impassable and therefore, they close them down. It is also surrounding their celebration of the New Year, so people take vacation then, too.) So, if we don't get a court date before closure, we won't get a date until October and then won't bring her home for another 5 or so weeks after that! UGh! But, if we do make it to court before the closure, the Embassy remains open during that time, so we can travel back within the 5 weeks to attend our Embassy appointment and BRING HER HOME!!!!!!!!!! 
    Please pray specifically that all of the dates line up and we can bring Baby Girl home in September!! God is so mighty that NOTHING is impossible for Him! I know this is true and I trust Him. Yet, I continue to stress....After I realized we were next on the list for referral, I started with this same ridiculous behavior and it took me about 3 weeks to finally settle into a peace and knowing that this is so far out of my hands, there is no point in stressing. Like my sister Krissy says "God's got your back!" and boy, does he ever!!


So, that's it. I am still me, just sporting a new "do", still 20 pounds overweight and a nervous wreck over all of this stuff I have no control over!!!! Serenity? Yes, please!!!  :-)

From Ashes to Africa

Last weekend I sat in the office, curled up with a cup of tea and a GREAT READ!!! You all MUST read this book! From Ashes to Africa by Josh and Amy Bottomly. It is the story of the adoption of their first son, Silas. Adoptive parent, grandparent or just someone who is in support of adoption.....click on the link to the right and buy it. Support their cause in Africa and read their amazing story. You will be changed!

All rest and no work made Amy a very poor girl!!!!

OK, so I am officially BACK TO WORK!!!!! As in overnight shifts and getting regular paychecks. It was a "nice" 11 weeks off (not really) but this adoption won't happen without the proper funding!!! Although, I have to say, I am SO EXCITED to start planning the Olsson 5K for April!! "Run a 5K to help raise $5K for the Olssons' 5th Kid!!!!!! Need desperately to call my girl Mindy to help me get started. I guess I'll wait until her Steelers take the 7th ring until we get moving!
Since I was in and out of the hospital for the entire fall, we were unable to have a birthday celebration for Jenevieve....WELL.......25 kindergarteners are descending upon Kling Ct. this Saturday!! Oh Lord, grant me emergency stash of patience and energy!! I am so please to FINALLY be giving her the party she deserves!
She is quite a kid!
Pics to follow...

OK, so it's been a realllllly long time since I've blogged. Sorry:)

So, since my last post a million things have happened. Like a virus-ish thing that nearly killed me, yet gave me a great sense of "I'm alive and should really make the most of every moment"....We are NUMBER 30 on the wait list. Holy smokes!!!! That gives me the shivers!!...Christmas and New Year's have come and gone, I turned 34, almost lost my GiGi to a massive heart attack and now here I am....ready to set my sights on Africa and the little baby that is there and will someday be ours! I am praying everyday for our Lord to comfort and protect her. I pray that His presence in our lives will be abundant and clear so that we will be spiritually ready for our journey!


There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. John 4:18