So, obviously I haven't blogged for a bit. Almost a year. Lots happened. Record amounts of tears have been shed. God prevailed in all of our pain and anguish. We brought our beautiful daughter home on Jan. 7, 2012 after the fight of our lives. Turns out Sten and I are quite the warriors after all :))
 

October 1st....a changed perspective

So, wow! Here it is a cold, rainy morning on October 1st. A day that a month ago I would have said with 100% certainty would be spent cuddling with Frehiwet, playing, feeding, taking pictures to share here....nope. Not today. She is still in Ethiopia and we are still here, waiting.
This past week was particularly difficult. I learned so much about myself. Some things not so pretty. We got news from the embassy that our paperwork was still not correct, denied for the third time....and I jumped to conclusions. A previous judgement of someone combined with my fear, anger and frustration led to desperate accusations. I was wrong. I doubted my agency. I shouldn't have. I lost faith. I knew better.
After a week of emotional extremes and a conference call with 24 of my adoption BFFs and our fearless CHI team...I feel better, we feel better. (sorta) What it boils down to is this: I grew weak in my faith and instead of trusting my agency, I didn't. The adoption process in ET is very muddy right now. Changes are occurring across the board and we are stuck right here in the middle of it all. Instead of ET putting a moratorium on adoption while these changes are being instituted, they have allowed them to continue to be processed. But, because the system is indeed changing, our process has been slowed considerably. New document requirements, very poor communication from government agencies and the culture and conditions that are Ethiopia are all the reasons why we are sitting here, waiting.
So, while I can do nothing to change any of those things, I CAN change my perspective. Up until now, my recent days have consisted of waking at all hours of the night to check my email for any word on our case our of ET. That pattern continues throughout the day, refreshing my gmail every 20 minutes. Chatting with CHI friends on FB about what they have heard, stalking blogs, you get the picture. Being totally ruled by my need for any positive sign, any bit of evidence that we still have a chance to get cleared! Those things are happening. People are getting cleared. They are bringing their precious babies home. We are getting closer. But, I am growing weak. SO........
I have challenged myself to go "tech-free" next week...meaning: I am taking FaceBook and Gmail off of my phone so I can no longer obsess about the latest bit of information. I am vowing to "unplug from fear" and "plug into faith"....God knows the past, present and future. DUH! He knows when this is all going to happen. When the perfect time for us to reunite with our baby is....HE KNOWS, so why do I need to worry? I plan to re-engage in my life. Knock off items from my to do list. Dust my stinkin wood blinds!! Finish painting the basement! Clean out closets! Clean my refrigerator (gag)!! Read a romance novel! Basically, distract myself. Sure, I will check my email. But I have vowed to check it in the morning and at the end of the day. I have to stick to this. I am going nuts by my own behavior.
If I learned anything from our CHI conference call yesterday it was this: We will have Marra Frehiwet home the same time if I stress and obsess or if I chill and wait patiently. Freaking out is not going to bring her home sooner.
Our lives are about to be rocked! A BABY will be here soon and I need to have myself in order...so I can be the best new momma, best old momma, best wife and renewed in my faith once she is here.

For the First Time

Well, as you may or may not know, we got our long awaited MOWA letter on 8/12 and then received our decree a week or so later....Frehiwet's birth certificate was created, then her passport, and finally, she had a medical exam at the American Embassy in Addis....all of that in order to be submitted to the American Embassy for approval of a visa and then we get to go bring her home!
Sounds great, right? Well, except for this : the American Embassy is now feeling pressure to scrutinize every single adoption case that comes their way. Well, of course! We absolutely want Frehiwet to truly have been an orphan and for there to  have been no lies told throughout this process. However, the USE is a day late and $20K short....in essence, the USE is now investigating an adoption case that has already been closed by the Ethiopian government. Has the full seal of approval and CAN NEVER BE REVERSED. When we were in Ethiopia for court, the judge asked us 5 questions. One of which was, "Do you understand that this adoption is final and can never be reversed?" So, The USE wants to ensure that the children they are allowing to enter the USA as citizens of this great nation were not trafficked and were true orphans before referral. That is great, except that if they were for some reason todeny Frehiwet a Visa, she would then remain in Ethiopia, never to have any family at all. In an orphanage, forever. The only way we could parent her would be to move to Ethiopia. Basically.
So, yesterday our case passed the pre-screening and was submitted to the US Embassy and now we wait. We wait to find out what other supporting documentation they would like to see in our case. ie another police letter, an interview, whatever they request. We and our agency will be notified via email as to what they are requesting. Then, CHI (Children's Hope) will work tirelessly to find and create whatever is asked of them. And then we wait some more. Each time we wait, we have been told, could be days or weeks, even.
            This is when I fall to bits and pieces. The wait was grueling before. When we were waiting for a referral, when we waited for court date and then waiting for our MOWA letter, but THIS, this wait is beyond grueling. It is a feeling I have never felt before. A feeling of absolute helplessness. One that has left an empty ache in my chest that just won't go away.
            I will admit to you right now that I am incapable of "faking it". I wear my heart on my sleeve and am the straightest of straight-shooters. What you see is what you get. And boy, is that not pretty right now.
           I am walking around in a daze as my busy world continues around me. Am I day-dreaming of this perfect little angel waiting for me? Sometimes. But really, what I am doing is nothing. I am numb. Stress that can be mobilized is healthy. Futile stress, the kind of stress that you can do nothing to alleviate at the source, is lethal. Seriously.  So what am I doing to survive so I don't get booted off the island?
       I am praying. Praying for God to grant me peace in this time of uncertainty. Praying that our case is miraculously in perfect order and nothing more is needed. Giving thanks to God for each of my children here. They are blessings to me and are keeping me from going completely off the deep end! I am trusting that the God who created me, knows every hair on my head and every pang in my heart, will guide me through this wait. We are all God's children. All his very own creation and he knows the exact plan for each of us. And I trust that plan. I have peace within that plan.
2Corinthians 12:19 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness". Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
I am taking every day moment by moment. Basking in God's love. Knowing that He knows what is best for me. Enjoying the company of my savior, Jesus Christ. May the glory and honor be His.

          

A wonderful story of hope and survival......Hugh Jackman, Ethiopia and Hope....what more could you want? :-)

http://vimeo.com/15190829 This link will show you the full video.....
Amazing people doing amazing things:)

Introducing Marra Frehiwet!!

So, on July 5th, we learned of our court date in Ethiopia....we were to be there on 7/22.....Lots to do. Tons got done!!
In short, our trip was grueling and the flights agonizing...ok, ok, i don't travel well...I get it :) Ben was able to go with us which was a blessing beyond words! We took off out of Washington Dulles -> Frankfurt -> Addis Ababa , Ethiopia.....30 hours door to door!
We had several goals on this trip 1)Meet and start bonding with Marra 2) Deliver the near 1/2 ton of school supplies collected for the Bright Hope School 3)Paint and decorate the House of Hope where Marra was now staying until we made our final trip to bring her home 4)Learn and soak up as much of the Ethiopian culture and its people as possible....We did it all, and then some!!
Instead of writing it all out now, I will share these two videos with you.....the First is of our trip (minus the Marra chapter, since we didn't know when we would pass court and be 'allowed' to share her pics, we decided to make two separate vids)  The second one is all about THE GIRLIE!!!
We found out this morning that WE ARE NOW MARRA FREHIWET'S LEGAL PARENTS!!!!! Just a few days ago we were told that would most likely not happen until October, prolonging our wait by two months....but, through hours of prayer and lots of tears....God moved that mountain.....I knew He would!
Enjoy the footage of a journey beyond your wildest imaginations!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OhtmqZZQ-8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kX113zBlZLY

School Supplies!!

Officially started the school supply drive today!! Put a message on FaceBook in hopes that friends and family will donate extra school supplies to the Bright Hope School (see link) that is funded by Children's Hope International. I would love to show up to Ethiopia next week with a suitcase FULL of supplies for these eager kiddos!
http://www.blog.helpanorphan.org/search/label/Ethiopia

T Minus 12 Days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We FINALLY got a court date!!!!!!! We squeaked in with just a few days to spare!!! July 28th we will stand before a judge in Ethiopia and testify that YES INDEED we wish to adopt ((BABY)) !!!!
Sten and I have always worked well under pressure, God knows that, but sheesh do we have a crazy few weeks ahead of us!!
Just a few things to do before we leave:
Prepare our paperwork (notary, copies, certified mail, you know, nothing major for me!)
Gather Donations (doing a school supply drive for the Bright Hope School)
Pack for our trip
Pack the kids' bags for their stay in PA
Prepare for BEN"S 16th BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!!! (Costco, Costco, Costco.....and Best Buy!!)
Work 24 hours this week
Gather borrowed luggage
Get my hair done. (Roots are looking pretty trashy right now!!)
Go to GYN appt. to get this pesky ovarian cyst checked out. I don't want it to swallow up my last ovary while in ET since the other one met the same fate! (But had the conveniences of a hospital to remove it!!)
Sten has to be in Kazakhstan the DAY AFTER court, so he is working like mad not only to prepare his work for the trip but to actually schedule the flights.....Apparently, not too many folks travel from Addis Ababa, Ethiopia to Almaty, Kazakhstan....go figure!!
And, on top of it all, I have THE WORST chest/head cold I have ever had. Of course.
But, we are still on cloud nine with the unbelievable news that we are going to court before the closure!! And, I have heard that even if our necessary MOWA letter (the one that "blesses" this whole adoption) isn't at court that day, it still can be processed by the clerk of the court during closure b/c the judge approved the case pending the letter. What I've heard, we will learn more once we are there!!
Another great thing that God has lined up for us is that my dear friend through all of this, Sarah, who is traveling with her husband Josh to appear in court the same day as us (what a coincidence!!) will actually be on the SAME FLIGHT as us!! WooHoo!!! Oh, I forgot to mention that Ben is going with us!!! Kinda a big deal!! We really felt it important for Ben to see his sister's beginnings and to start the bonding process now, since there is such a huge age difference and he will only be here for another 2 years, then off to college.
I apologize for all of my ramblings, it's all the snot in my head prohibiting me from thinking clearly. :-)